My brain hurts.

I just spent the last 20 minutes of my life listening to Rob Oakeshott explain the last 17 days. Maybe we could make a miniseries- 17 days in half an hour, with Rob Oakeshott”.

Grief, he was loquacious.  Bolt describes him well:

“Rob Oakeshott goes on and on with his thanks and wishes for good feelings. Thanks Bill Heffernan even, saying he is “fundamentally a good man” (despite earlier suggesting he was terrorising the Oakeshott children as part of a Liberal dirty tricks campaign). Says his vote is not an endorsement of anyone (sic) or a mandate. Will vote on each issue as he chooses.

Still talking, and talking without yet announcing who’ll get his votes. Calls on the other MPs to rat against their parties. Needs to bring “a few media outlets with us”.

Lineball, six-of-one decision, and has splits within his community and his family. (Please, God, get on with it.)

“When the gong is given at the end of these words…” On he goes. We must now all “bring Australia together”.

“The framing of this decision then…” (He’s STILL going.)

“It is not shaped around this political party prism…” (Still won’t say.)

“In regards to stability, we can drill down to four core areas….” (I have never seen a guy who loves the limelight this much.)

“The Senate, and we have been quite public about this…” (Yes, still won’t say.)

“And that is the fourth point…”

“…keep this parliament alive for …”

“…the eyes of my children test…”

“…this is a 20 year decision…” (STILL, STILL won’t announce the obvious.)

“As Tony said, we’re not asking for over and above…” (God, put a sock in this man’s mouth.)

“I do want to go home tonight to my wife and kids…” (Ad do we all. Please.)

“We’ve got a commitment to have the Henry tax review thrown open…”

“This is not going to be a weak parliament…”

“It is important that we have managed to get a process….” For indigenous recognition in the Constitution.  Nominates also broadband, global warming and a “crisis in regional education”. (Three Leftist causes out of four ain’t bad.)

“So the best interest test equals stability and outcomes…” (Yes, still going.)

“You might not like it but you cna’t knock us” for going through a medthodical procedure. Now Oakeshott is discussing all the meetings he’s had.  This guy is simply shameless.

“We’ve had lunch with Andrew Forrest.” (What time of night did it finish?)

“Even if you don’t like the decision…” (What decision?)

“I’ll give confidence and supply to Julia Gillard” … unless there is maladministration and corruption, or after a couple of years, none performance of the deal.”

Of course, he declared for Labor. Eventually.

I notice he wants parliament to sit for as long as possible without an election (until the normal three-year time span is up). Keep this performance up, and we’ll have no worries there!